News alert, straight from my MSN screen: exercise is still good for you, imagine that. Let’s look at some things that made me laugh.
One of these pics is not like the other…
Why, look how the kindly folks at GlaxoSmithDevilKline have opted to “educate” the public about their weight loss pill. This pill blocks some fat absorption. Yes, once again, we have weight loss in a pill. We’ll never get tired of that. Oh, but hey, from the PR mouthpiece: “If you have a meal that has too much fat, you’re gonna have treatment effects…those that do might have to go the bathroom more often, might find their stools a little softer,’ said Burton.” That’s code for: “eat lots of fat and your ass will blow out.” Maybe the resultant diarrhea will help motivate you to cut out some of the fat.
Hey, vibrating weight loss machines are like ghost pirates: they never die. FYI, I’m all for it. It is possible that being hooked up to a vibrating machine might make you so happy and, mmmmm, satisfied, the pounds would just fall off. Sign me up! After all, this quality product has been linked with Sean ‘that’s Mr. Diddy to you’ Combs.
Have I mentioned that I hate Slim-Fast press releases? Don’t ask me why this one irritated me so much, except that this crap gets reported like news sometimes, and I barf. I bet the bars taste like squished up donkey intestines.
Oh, and let’s review something, because when you pull my string, I only have a few messages. It’s a well-worn theme here (yeah, we could practically say this in unison, and then we’d sound like a cult): you should never follow a diet because a celebrity has lost weight on it. Why?
It’s easier to be successful on any plan when you have a personal chef and trainer and you can work out four hours a day.
I hate to tell you this, but sometimes celebrities get paid to endorse diets, and they don’t even follow them.
Many celebrities are whackadoo nut jobber fruitcakes who have a cup of tree bark and a raw egg and 10 cigarettes and 12 diet Cokes and call it a day.
Hellooo, retouching!