Originally posted on February 14, 2009
The pressure is on. It’s the big “V” day. Not vagina day, though it might as well be called that because it’s all about the women. It is perhaps the most dangerous day for any man in a relationship: Yes, it’s Valentine’s day, the day when a woman wants her man to shed his rough edges and turn into a modern Casanova.
I‘ve put my request in writing to my love monkey: “Honey, the best present you can give me is to leave me alone with a box of cake mix, the internet and a pound of chicken fried rice. Please don’t bother me about what I’d like to do, or where I’d like to go. But you are already so brilliant in the way you sense my desires that I didn’t even have to request that. Have a great day snow-boarding with your friends, and let’s go out tomorrow, the day after vagina day. We will have an amazing dinner (like we always do), it will be half the price and twice the fun (like it always is).” I picture him smiling at my note with that colgate smile and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. There are few things that can make an ice princess like me feel warm and fuzzy.
I don’t know why this stupid holiday full of expectations pisses me off so much. I mean chocolate? C’mon, my fridge is loaded. Flowers? They wilt and die, not a symbol of the love I want. Lingerie? It’s too big, it’s too small, it’s made to look good on Heidi Klum, and, let’s face the facts–I’m no Heidi Klum…I’m better.
It troubles my nerves that this one day out of the year bears so much significance, when in fact, these expectations that we have of our partners should be recognized in everyday practice. Partnership, love, respect, fun, intimacy and affection. Everyday should be valentines day.
Let me share some of my favorite facts about vagina day:
And to those of you who expect so much on Valentine’s day, I’d be curious to know: what does it really mean for you?
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And you forgot- according to the high end salon waxing lady, once a year bikini waxing by many, many women in NYC. It’s so ridiculous!!
Hey-it’s over!!