Maybe it’s just human nature to want maximum results with minimal effort, but what I usually tell people is the more succinct, “I’m lazy.”
There is a part of me that doesn’t actually want to work out at all. However, if you are a regular exerciser (I don’t know many of those) and you worry about motivation, I highly recommend injuring your lower back/hip so you can’t work out for a while. You will come to wistfully remember just two weeks ago when you were not completely batshit insane and could run without a care in the world.
I digress. I meant to say that I don’t want to spend 600 thousand hours in the gym doing some crazy ass rubber band workout like Gwyneth or any other underweight blonde. I don’t have that kind of time. So I have been taught a few strategies for getting the most out of my workouts. One is to do exercises that incorporate multiple muscle groups at once. (This is all that free weight and functional fitness gospel stuff, though you shouldn’t look to me for any preaching, I’m too self-absorbed to be converting anyone.)
And another strategy is to find ways to push myself — to pick up big weights. Biggest I can find. If I choose the gigantic dumbbell or barbell or whatever, then I know I will probably be exerting myself, rather than kicking back and dinking out my reps. But there is a problem here, and so I have to raise my hand and say,
“My name is Sherika and I am a the ninja in the corner doing curls with the 20 pound weights.”
(Psst! Now you all say, “Hi Sherika!”)
What I mean is that I can get so caught up in using the gigantic-est weight I can lift that I sometimes mess up in other areas. Generally this is a disease that afflicts a lot of guys, and women tend to not use enough weight to get strength training results. But obviously there can be gender crossover, because I have this problem too.
What’s wrong with being a Sherika-ninja? Well, a couple things. For one, if you have an injury—like say, a back injury—and you decide to use the heaviest weight in the gym just because you are really broken in the head, you can end up with a messed up back to match.
But probably more relevant, there are times when a big weight means you also sacrifice other things, like form, and integrity. I get this when I watch someone crank out 72 pull ups, but they never fully extend their arms.
Truth is that you can make yourself work hard with less weight if you remain conscious of form (keep abs tight or back straight or whatever) and make sure you get full extensions and so on. You can also increase things like the speed of your reps to make everything a wee bit harder. So why wouldn’t I do that instead, and spare my body the possible injury? So glad you asked. Because 1) it takes more work mentally to practice full range of motion executed well, and 2) it’s way less showy than the big bulge of the heavier weight.
But the first step is admitting you have a problem, and so there, I said it. Now that I’ve been out of the game for a while, I want to stage my comeback by keeping the weight lighter but finding ways to kick my own ass with better, prettier reps. Wish me luck on that and hide the big dumbbells too, just to help me out.