This is a hard thing to write about for three reasons:

1) We are veering way too far out of fitness land, and
2) I don’t like that type of web traffic that this topic brings me
3) Google bots don’t like the word vagina

But it will not stop me from writing about it, if only I could just stop laughing first.

Many people have their own way of describing that female part — but me, personally? I like Chelsea Handler’s description best: Kaslopis. Let’s make something clear, I have no idea if that’s someone’s name, the name of their company or their pet. I just think it sounds funny as hell. And who doesn’t like a funny kaslopis?

Well, imagine my shock when I came across this sacred kaslopis purse. All I could think about is sticking my hand into a coochie-like-purse-thing every time I needed my chapstick, even if it is: “More than a sumptuous Renaissance bag, the Velvet V represents in three-dimensional form the sacred portal to the feminine temple” and when “Each has sumptuous fabric labia and a beautiful button clitoris.” And you cannot use the word “sumptuous” twice in one passage, even when referring to a velvety scary red kaslopis bag.

Oh, and beware of purse snatchers. Booyah!