It’s a funny thing when one starts exercising…they get sooo annoying.  Take me for example, I get super annoying. I do 20 jumping jacks and immediately start asking people if  they see results, if I look any fitter or thinner.  Then I continue to pest them everyday until they acknowledge change. Ugh.

It’s so frustrating when you make an effort to lose weight — an honest-to-goodness, try-your-heart-out effort — and it goes nowhere. (Of course, who doesn’t feel a smidge of impatience right from the get-go? There’s always a little part of you that expects to be transformed after just one workout.) My clients often cite lack of results as one of the top reasons for giving up on an exercise. So, for those who have ever felt like they’ve been left at the starting gate when trying to lose weight by exercising, here are a few tips that may help.

Work Harder. When you first begin an exercise program, even a leisurely stroll can leave you sucking wind. After a few weeks, you’ll notice that the same amount of exercise won’t leave you quite as breathless, and your heart won’t thump quite as loudly. That’s a sure sign of progress, but it’s also a sure sign you need to kick into a higher gear. In fact, there’s some scientific evidence to suggest that doing one or two hard-hitting workout sessions a week can rev up weight loss; when you push yourself, you burn a greater number of calories per hour and can pump up your resting calorie burn rate for several hours — or even several days — afterwards. For stalled weight-loss efforts, add one to two weekly “interval training” workouts (that’s where you mix speedy, high-intensity intervals lasting one to five minutes with slower recovery intervals lasting an equal amount of time).

Go Longer: There is no question that some exercise is better than none at all. However, when you’re attempting to downsize, 20 minutes here or there probably isn’t going to cut it. According to many expert organizations, there’s a certain calorie burning threshold you need to hit to begin making a dent in excess body fat. For example, the American College of Sports Medicine proposes shooting for 300 calories worth of exercise daily. The National Weight Control Registry recommends burning 2,800 calories per week through exercise, which translates into four to seven hours of movement depending on your mode of exercise, how intense your workouts are and how much you weigh.

Balance it: A combination of aerobics, weights and mind-body activities will help you get there faster. Aerobic pursuits, such as running, cycling and swimming, burn tons of calories but don’t do much for your metabolism. Weight training burns some calories, but its main purpose is to build and preserve fast metabolizing muscle. Stretching, whether it’s traditional, Yogic or Pilates-based, burns more calories still and keeps your muscles supple and injury free so you’re less likely to miss a workout.

Diet matters: It takes about 14 minutes of moderately-paced walking to burn off 100 calories and about a millisecond to scarf down 100 calories worth of chocolate. Even though research indicates that exercise is the most important health habit you can cultivate for both losing and maintaining weight loss, all the treadmill sessions in the world won’t do you any good if the majority of your meals consist of super-sized portions of junk food. That doesn’t mean jumping on the latest fad diet bandwagon. However, you’re probably going to have to limit calories to some extent, even if you’re religious about working out.

News alert, straight from my MSN screen: exercise is still good for you, imagine that. Let’s look at some things that made me laugh.

One of these pics is not like the other…

Why, look how the kindly folks at GlaxoSmithDevilKline have opted to “educate” the public about their weight loss pill. This pill blocks some fat absorption. Yes, once again, we have weight loss in a pill. We’ll never get tired of that. Oh, but hey, from the PR mouthpiece: “If you have a meal that has too much fat, you’re gonna have treatment effects…those that do might have to go the bathroom more often, might find their stools a little softer,’ said Burton.” That’s code for: “eat lots of fat and your ass will blow out.” Maybe the resultant diarrhea will help motivate you to cut out some of the fat.

Hey, vibrating weight loss machines are like ghost pirates: they never die. FYI, I’m all for it. It is possible that being hooked up to a vibrating machine might make you so happy and, mmmmm, satisfied, the pounds would just fall off. Sign me up! After all, this quality product has been linked with Sean ‘that’s Mr. Diddy to you’ Combs.

Have I mentioned that I hate Slim-Fast press releases? Don’t ask me why this one irritated me so much, except that this crap gets reported like news sometimes, and I barf. I bet the bars taste like squished up donkey intestines.

Oh, and let’s review something, because when you pull my string, I only have a few messages. It’s a well-worn theme here (yeah, we could practically say this in unison, and then we’d sound like a cult): you should never follow a diet because a celebrity has lost weight on it. Why?

It’s easier to be successful on any plan when you have a personal chef and trainer and you can work out four hours a day.

I hate to tell you this, but sometimes celebrities get paid to endorse diets, and they don’t even follow them.

Many celebrities are whackadoo nut jobber fruitcakes who have a cup of tree bark and a raw egg and 10 cigarettes and 12 diet Cokes and call it a day.

Hellooo, retouching!

Why is my favorite meal anything that contains sugar? I am totally addicted to sweets, and I am not alone: The average American consumes an astounding 2-3 pounds of sugar each week, which is not surprising considering that highly refined sugars in the forms of sucrose (table sugar), dextrose (corn sugar), and high-fructose corn syrup are being processed into so many foods such as bread, cereal, peanut butter, ketchup and a plethora of microwave meals.

My weakness is probably chocolate. And wine. And cupcakes. Perhaps I can add strawberry cake as well? The really fake, bright pink kind. Even the lighter pink one is good too and it smells deliciously fake. Moving on.

In the last 20 years, sugar consumption in the U.S. has increased from 26 pounds to 135 lbs. of sugar per person per year. But I’m a sugar addict, so I totally understand the need for sugar, especially when that mid-afternoon sleepiness kicks in and you just have to have a fix.

There are 4 classes of simple sugars which are regarded as “harmful” to optimal health: sucrose, fructose, honey, and malts. (I say harmful because refined dietary sugars lack minerals and vitamins, so they must draw upon the body’s micro-nutrient stores in order to be metabolized into the system).

Surprised to find honey on the list? Although honey is a natural sweetener, it is considered a refined sugar because it’s 96% simple sugars: fructose, glucose and sucrose. Also, that cute honey bear is the only animal found in nature with a problem with tooth-decay (honey decays teeth faster than table sugar). Honey has the highest calorie content of all sugars with 65 calories/tablespoon, compared to the 48 calories/tablespoon found in table sugar.

Also, sugar in general, is devoid of minerals, vitamins and fiber, and has such a deteriorating effect on the endocrine system, that major researchers and major health organizations agree that sugar consumption in America is one of the 3 major causes of degenerative disease.

One would think that after writing that sugar makes you old that I would put away this piece of chocolate that I enjoy while writing, that I would just stop sinking my teeth into this delicious substance, that I would just discard it, but discard it I will not. I am having a good time, and is there anything wrong with having a good time?

And is there anything really wrong with eating a lot of sugar?
The answer makes me sad: yes.

One of sugar’s major drawbacks is that it raises the insulin level, which inhibits the release of growth hormones, which in turn depresses the immune system. This is not something you want to take place if you want to avoid disease.

An influx of sugar into the bloodstream upsets the body’s blood-sugar balance, triggering the release of insulin, which the body uses to keep blood-sugar at a constant and safe level. Insulin also promotes the storage of fat, so that when you eat sweets high in sugar, you’re making way for rapid weight gain and elevated triglyceride levels, both of which have been linked to cardiovascular disease. Complex carbohydrates tend to be absorbed more slowly, lessening the impact on blood-sugar levels.

Sugar depresses the immune system. We know that glucose and vitamin C have similar chemical structures, so what happens when the sugar levels go up? They compete with one another upon entering the cells. And the thing that mediates the entry of glucose into the cells is the same thing that mediates the entry of vitamin C into the cells. If there is more glucose around, there is going to be less vitamin C allowed into the cell.

So when you eat sugar, think of your immune system slowing down to a crawl.

Simple sugars have been observed to aggravate asthma, move mood swings, provoke personality changes (this has happened to me without the sugar), muster mental illness, nourish nervous disorders, deliver diabetes, hurry heart disease, grow gallstones, hasten hypertension, and add arthritis.

I won’t stop eating sugar, but I will certainly cut back.

So, I have known about the book Skinny Bitch, by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, and its message of veganism as a way to lose weight for quite awhile now. Yet I have to admit, I hadn’t read the book until now, because I don’t believe in dieting. My own experience has proved time and time again that is counterproductive, counterintuitive, and ultimately self-destructive.

Recommended: Not likely. But be your own judge.

The message, in addition to veganism, is one that wholeheartedly endorses body hate if you are not thin.

Though it is meant to be dramatic, its overall message, inspiring self-loathing, complete with the names to call yourself, was over the top.

Sadly, toward the end of the book, it became evident that despite the author’s self-proclaimed statuses as being skinny bitches, they (at least in part) still hate their bodies. In Chapter 12, they report, “Also, we have some fat, gross body parts, too. We’re women.” Wow. I don’t want to even begin to touch that statement.

Moving on.

Now, I am not against veganism or weight loss. However, I am against the encouragement of body hate. And I am for the creation of a new culture where women are encouraged to feel good as they are, and to view themselves through eyes of acceptance. I cannot wait until society realizes you do not have to hate yourself into losing weight. In some ways, I believe we are getting closer. Clearly, in some ways we are getting further away with books like Skinny Bitch.

The verdict is in. I’m calling it. Two words that need to be separated in a rancorous divorce: fat and eat. As in, “I am so fat, I have to stop eating.” They get no visitation what.so.ever. It is THAT serious.

Here’s why. Last night I had dinner with Domestigal Sue, and that always promises two things: Sexiness and knowledge. Irresistible combo. I love that the naturally muscular Sue can spend time reading the NY Times while I sweat my days away at the gym like a real meat-head.

On our second round of sake she asked me if I’d heard about the stomach condom.
Ah, “the stomach what?” I shook my head side to side in disbelief. I coughed. Anyone looking at my fabulous self would have thought I was choking.

A condom for your stomach that will hold your food, instead of say, eating less. Grossly fascinating. But wait, there’s more. It is later removed through your mouth by a doctor.

The EndoBarrier™ is a gastrointestinal liner that acts as an impermeable barrier to prevent food from coming in contact with the wall of the intestine. This may have an effect on the patient's uptake of both nutrients and calories. It may also have a metabolic effect that is similar to Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery, which produces significant weight loss and resolution of type 2 diabetes. However, the EndoBarrier™ is placed and removed endoscopically. As with many endoscopic procedures, the EndoBarrier™ may provide a safer alternative with more rapid recovery and lower costs.

Why is this satisfactory? As obesity increasingly becomes the norm, society has grown too accepting. Perhaps what is lacking is the same thing that helped smokers lose their butts: a healthy dose of social stigma. If only there were more shame in being fat, maybe more people would be motivated to lose weight? I dunno. It’s just a thought.

Last week, a letter published in the Lancet noted that fat asses contribute more than their thinner compatriots to food scarcity and global warming, given that they eat more and require more transportation energy to move themselves around.

I went over my library, er, google and did some research. It rendered 386,000 results for “fat people cause global warming”.

In my opinion, the obese could use some blame, or responsibility, not a solution to be more of glutton. I mean, am I way off course here?

It’s time for a new slim-down mantra: Eat more to weigh less. No joke! The right foods help you drop pounds by revving your calorie burn and curbing cravings.

Steak
Beef has a rep as a diet buster, but eating it may help you peel off pounds. In a study published in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, women on a diet that included red meat lost more weight than those eating equal calories but little beef. The protein in steak helps you retain muscle mass during weight loss.  Try to consume local organic beef; it’s healthier for you and the environment.

Eggs
Egg protein is filling, so you eat less later in the day.  Omelets and scrambles are obvious choices, but if you can’t cook before work, bake a frittata on Sunday; chill it and nuke slices for up to a week.

Kale
Long sidelined as a lowly garnish, this green belongs center stage on your plate. One raw chopped cup contains 34 calories and about 1.3 grams of fiber, as well as a hearty helping of iron and calcium. But kale’s earthy flavor might take some getting used to. Spinach, another nutrient powerhouse, is a milder-tasting option.

Oats
Oatmeal has the highest satiety ranking of any food.  Unlike many other carbohydrates, oats—even the instant kind—digest slowly, so they have little impact on your blood sugar. All oats are healthful, but the steel-cut and rolled varieties (which are minimally processed) have up to 5 grams of fiber per serving, making them the most filling choice. Instant oats contain 3 to 4 grams per serving.

Lentils
Lentils are a bona fide belly flattener. They’re high in protein and soluble fiber, two nutrients that stabilize blood sugar levels. Eating them helps prevent insulin spikes that cause your body to create excess fat, especially in the abdominal area. There are many varieties of lentils, but red and yellow cook fastest (in about 15 to 20 minutes).

Goji berries
These chewy, tart berries have a hunger-curbing edge over other fruit: 18 amino acids, which make them a surprising source of protein. Snack on them midafternoon to stay satisfied until dinner. The calorie cost? Only 35 per tablespoon.

Wild salmon
Not only do fish fats keep your heart healthy, but they shrink your waist, too. Omega-3 fatty acids improve insulin sensitivity—which helps build muscle and decrease belly fat. And the more muscle you have, the more calories your body burns. Opt for wild salmon; it may contain fewer pollutants.

Apples
An apple a day can keep weight gain at bay. People who chomped an apple before a pasta meal ate fewer calories overall than those who had a different snack. Apples are high in fiber—4 to 5 grams each—which makes them filling.  Plus, the antioxidants in apples may help prevent metabolic syndrome, a condition marked by excess belly fat or an “apple shape.”

Buckwheat pasta
Swap plain noodles for this hearty variety; you’ll slip into your skinny jeans in no time. Buckwheat is high in fiber and, unlike most carbs, contains protein. Those two nutrients make it very satiating, so it’s harder to overeat buckwheat pasta than the regular stuff.

Blueberries
All berries are good for you, but those with a blue hue are among the best of the bunch. They have the highest antioxidant level of all commonly consumed fruit.  They also deliver 3.6 grams of fiber per cup. Fiber may actually prevent some of the fat you eat from being absorbed because fiber pulls fat through the digestive tract.

Almond butter
Adding this spread may lower bread’s glycemic index (a measure of a food’s effect on blood sugar). The higher blood sugar levels rise, the lower they fall; that dip leads to hunger, causing people to overeat.  Furthermore, blood sugar changes cause the body to make insulin, which can increase abdominal fat.

Pomegranates
The juice gets all the hype for being healthy, but pomegranate seeds deserve their own spotlight. In addition to being loaded with folate and disease-fighting antioxidants, they’re low in calories and high in fiber, so they satisfy your sweet tooth without blowing your diet.

Chiles
One reason to spice up your meals: You’ll crank up your metabolism. A compound in chiles called capsaicin has a thermogenic effect, meaning it causes the body to burn extra calories for 20 minutes after you eat the chiles.  Plus, you can’t gulp down spicy food, eating slowly gives your brain time to register that your stomach is full, so you won’t overeat.

Yogurt
Dietitians often refer to plain yogurt as the perfect food, and for good reason: With its trifecta of carbs, protein and fat, it can stave off hunger by keeping blood sugar levels steady.

Quinoa
Curbing hunger is as easy as piling your plate with this whole grain. It packs both fiber (2.6 grams per 1/2 cup) and protein, a stellar nutrient combo that can keep you satisfied for hours.

Sardines
These tiny fish are the unsung stars of the sea. They are high in protein and loaded with omega-3s, which also help the body maintain muscle. And they’re low in mercury and high in calcium, making them a smart fish pick for pregnant women.

Tarragon
You can use this herb, a staple in French cooking, in place of salt in marinades and salad dressings. Excess sodium causes your body to retain water, so using less salt can keep bloating at bay. Plus, tarragon lends a sweet, licorice-like flavor to bland foods.

Parmesan
Drop that rubbery lowfat cheese and pick up the real stuff. Women who had one serving of whole milk or cheese daily were less likely to gain weight over time, a study in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition finds. Lowfat-dairy fans didn’t experience the same benefit. Whole dairy may have more conjugated linoleic acid, which might help your body burn fat. Parmesan is so flavorful, it’s easy to stick to one serving.

Avocado
Don’t let the fat content of an avocado (29 grams) scare you—that’s what makes it a top weight loss food. The heart-healthy monounsaturated fat it contains increases satiety. And it’s terrific summer party food.

Olive oil
Like avocados, olive oil has healthy fat that increases satiety, taming your appetite. But that’s hardly its only slimming feature.  Research shows it has anti-inflammatory properties. Chronic inflammation in the body is linked to metabolic syndrome.

Temperature makes a difference. The cooler you are, the longer and harder you can push yourself. If you’re too warm you can compromise your workout and the results you want.

Warmup your muscles. Warming up makes your muscles more pliable, increases your range of motion and decreases your chance of hurting or tearing the muscles. The easiest way? Walk for 5 minutes with arms swinging.

Forget slow and steady, start strong, finish slow. For the first 20 minutes, go hardcore and intense . Intensity burns more calories than exercising at a moderate pace.

Mind body connection between exercise. Thoughts that you’re melting fat helps you lose fat faster. Harvard did a study in 2007 which supports the mind-body-connection theory.

Instead of exercising for 1 hour, consider 2 half-hour sessions. Every time you exercise your metabolism stay revved up for couple of hours afterwards. Consider one session in the morning and one in the evening.

Shorter breaks between set keeps your heart rate up, which increases the number of calories you are using. Try to limit breaks to 30 seconds.